“Girlfriend, you shouldn’t have.” Andrea

I just re-read Jane Eyre for the sixth or seventh time. I am trying so hard to understand it. Because, look, I like plucky orphans as much as the next person, but my god, this book. First of all, let me change that to my god, all the Brontes. I just can’t with the Brontes. I feel like I need to immediately go read Persuasion as a palate cleanser. I know this is EVERYONE’S FAVORITE BOOK so … maybe just stop reading this review, because no thank you.


I think my big problem with Jane Eyre is every single man in this book. Literally from her birth to presumably her death, she is surrounded by assholes. First her obnoxious cousins, then the horrible owner or whatever of her boarding school, then Mr. Rochester, who I am sorry but is like OJ Simpson level emotionally abusive to her. Then she gets out of dodge after being publicly humiliated and heartbroken (my favorite part of this is how HE gets mad at HER when she leaves him when he lied about being married) I mean… WHAT? Then the minute she is out she has to contend with the worst of all, Sinjin frigging Rivers who tells her that not wanting to marry him is hurting God. That really has to be up there on the passive aggressive hall of fame. Oh, you don’t want to marry me and move to India? Too bad God hates you, have fun in hell. Sinjin Rivers is the devil.


Okay, all that being said… (clears throat), the writing is amazing. It is absolutely gorgeous. And Jane herself is lovely, I just wanted so badly for her to get pissed off and tell JUST ONE of these idiots where to go. And it is true that Jane never really capitulates to any of them, and she does whatever she wants, I just would have loved to see her flip someone off on the way out. I guess what I’m really annoyed about is how much nicer and more graceful Charlotte Bronte is than me.


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Grade – B